Parenting: Train up a child

All aspects of our life are shaped mainly in our childhood. Our character, sense of responsibility, sense of belonging, good and bad habits, ability to cope with difficulties, and spirituality are all shaped from childhood. We do not easily forget those formative years – the good memories of childhood can strengthen us during trying times as adults, and, likewise, those without a happy childhood cannot re-create it.

 Taking for granted a religious upbringing in childhood surely manifests itself in a person's character. This should motivate all parents and guardians to do their best to guide these little ones in a path of faith. Children are particularly receptive to religious imprints, by nature they are drawn to things which open up the beauty and meaning of life. We often see that if a child lives in miserable, gloomy surroundings, he will grow underdeveloped, without joy and most times will not relate well in society. For many who grow up like this a large part of the problem is from the parents. On the other hand, when we consider prominent and successful people, with great integrity, energy, and values, the majority of them come from large, hard-working families, brought up in religious traditions.
Psychologists say that impressions of early childhood play a decisive role in the subsequent development of a person. For example, some bad habits in adults can be traced to negative impressions from early childhood.  This is why as parents we must give thought to the early impressions we make on our children. We should begin to develop our children’s soul right from birth. Once they are born we are keen to see them grow physically, we strive to meet their need for clothes, a crib, milk etc., but often neglecting their souls. I think a mother who brings her baby to church as early as possible does the right thing, she is right when she blesses him, prays over his crib, prays over her breast milk or bottle, and takes him to church activities because she is preparing his soul towards faith in God at that early age.

One story I love in the bible is about some children who were carried to Jesus, and the disciples tried to stop the parents because they did not want to disturb their master. When Jesus saw this he was not pleased, and said to the disciples: "suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the Kingdom of God.' And embracing the children, He placed His hands on them and blessed them" (Mark 10:13-16).  These children must have been little children because the bible says they were carried to Jesus, which shows that they may have been too little to walk by themselves. The disciples did not want them to be brought near Jesus because they most likely thought, like parents do, that infants are unable to assimilate spiritual things.  The reaction from Jesus teaches us a vital lesson, children are more receptive to the goodness and grace of God. They naturally strive toward God. The best time to teach spirituality is early childhood, this when the foundation of a person is laid. In their early years up till about 6-7yrs, the personality of children can easily be moulded, after that age it is extremely difficult to change them as their major characteristics have already being formed.

Modern day parents have a tendency to underestimate the importance of bringing up a child in the way of the lord, and knowing difference between good and evil. We commonly say "Let him grow a little, and he will realize by himself what is good and what is wrong." Society even encourages this thought process, it is as if we hope that this will happen automatically. And so many do not attend to their toddlers bad inclinations and often fail to teach them how to deal with them. We would give in to anything for some ‘peace and quiet’. It is better to nip any manifestation of bad behaviour at its root before it grows. Parents who have failed to do so, often regret bitterly later.

Children need to know their boundaries, they need to know at an early age what is permissible and what is not. When children understand there are consequences for violation of the rules from home, a healthy foundation is being laid which will prepare him to submit to God and obey the laws of the land. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.